Audax Australia
This is the umbrella organisation running long distance cycling events in Australia Their website includes a calendar of events.

A place where cyclist can keep track of their mileage and any number of other statistics, as well as an attached forum.

A set of discussion forums covering almost every conceivable cycling related topic.

Cycling Adventurer
The Cycling Adventurer has tossed in the structured life of an urbanite to explore the world by bicycle. A well-written site detailing how he came to cycling, and what he learned along the way.

Crazy Guy on a Bike

Bicycle touring journals from all over the world, including a couple of my own.

Johns Cycles

This is my LBS on the Gold Coast. While they cater more to the racing market, their service, advice and workmanship is the best on the coast.

St Kilda Cycles

Importers of all manner of things hard to find in Australia, including the legendary Schmidt hub dynamo & E6 lights.


Wonderings and wanderings out and about in Portland, Oregon, US

The Journey
The journey begins in Perth, Western Australia.

Lance Notstrong
The "other" Lance!

Ms Mittens
The Wired Cat on-line

Iron Gambit

Aussie Writer and Cycletourist
A blog chronicling the writing and cycling of a seaside baby boomer.

Up in Alaska
Jill's subarctic journal about ice, bears and distant dreams of the midnight sun.

The Kin Chronicles
Taking mediocrity to a new level of ordinary.

Riding and running with a vengeance.

London Cycling Diary
Pedalling across the capital since August 2005.

CouchPilot-2-BikePilot (Zin's cycling blog)
Living an adventurous life with Type-2-Diabetes.

The adventures of Crazy Biker Chick
... Including cycling, adventuring, cooking, knitting and ranting.

Redneck Espanol
The two wheeled Spanish redneck.

Treadly and me
"Work is something I do between riding my bicycle".

Womanist philosophy and theology. Cycling, climbing, art, single-motherhood and fire-twirling.

Adrian Fitch's random rambling.
A bit about cycling, a bit about genealogy, a bit about radio but mostly a lot about nothing at all.

Geo's big adventure
The life and times of Geo.

It's about the bike
Musings on the cycling life.

Various cycling tidbits.

Industry Outsider
A blog about bikes and stuff.

Tweed Coast Treadly
An old man's bicycle riding diary.

A cyclist's life in Tenerife
(Canary Islands).

Bike to work to live to bike
It's never too late to get back on the bike

Stupid Hurts
Just the random scribblings of a guy with a bicycle

I'm not drunk enough for this
Really, I'm not.

What can I say? Just read it.

Mozam's cycling adventures
A random collection of the things I like to do most, and mostly that is to ride my bikes, bicycles that is... My musings from competitive riding, long distance endurance to puttering around the neighborhood..

More cycling blogs

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Friday, October 27, 2006

Troll Competition part 1

Having spent a number of years as a regular contributor to cycling themed Internet fora, and having virtually retired from the game (i.e. still lurking, making the occasional post but having greatly diminished involvement these days), I shall now parody of the most infamous trolls that seem to come up time and again. There will probably be a second (and maybe a third) installment because there are just so many of them. While this post is intended as satire, I was surprised while writing it just how closely some of the piss-takes resembled the actual trolls themselves.

I have recently undertaken a new Fatkins diet that I read in some obscure tabloid magazine some time ago. I think it's an outstanding success because I lost 169kg in three weeks. However, for some reason I then found that I had no energy at all and struggled with even the most basic functions of life. However, don't anybody dare tell me that this diet was the cause of my problems, there's no way they can be linked, after all, losing weight has to be healthy, so I'm gonna flame you to all hell if you disagree with me!

I was riding my unicycle to work on the shortened version of my commute (a mere 250km as opposed to my usual 400km), wearing the full clown suit when the driver of a pick-up truck raised his eyebrows at me in what was clearly a threatening manner. Now I'm normally a rational kind of guy, but this really ticked me off. What I'm wondering here is whether I should carry a gun in future to deal with psychos like this. There is, however, an equal and opposite troll:

I was out riding my bike this morning when I someone in a car yelled at me to "get off the f*cking road", before swerving at me, then throwing a full beer can at me. At first I was angry with him, then I thought back to three weeks ago when I saw a cyclist run a red light, and then I realised that all this time, the driver was the victim. After all, the cyclist who ran a red light gave us all a bad name that day (never mind the fact that everyone else at the intersection, myself included, ran the light, and that this driver probably didn't even see it). Clearly, this was what was upsetting the driver (not that I actually asked him at the time). In fact, that cyclist who ran that light three weeks ago is probably also responsible for war, famine and global warming. Man, I'd like to punch his lights out -- he ruined my ride Goddammit!

Hello, I am a newbie in need of professional assistance for (insert problem here), but I'm too lazy and too stingy to pay for these services, so I thought I'd come and ask the people here. After all, I know someone here will be able to solve my problem.

I saw a terrible newspaper article yesterday, claiming a cyclist had been killed on a road. If only he'd been wearing a helmet. The fact that he swerved across four lanes of traffic without looking first is irrelevant, after all, we all know that helmets will protect you from every possible threat, be it cars, AIDS, war, famine, natural disasters or whatever. So don't you dare try to tell me that the cyclist might have made a mistake (beyond not wearing a helmet), or that we might be able to learn something from this incident because that would be extremely callous so I'm gonna flame you to hell.

Man, I'm so sick of those helmet nazis telling me I should wear my helmet. For God's sake, it's my choice dammit and no zealot is going to tell me I should wear one. After all, they're really dorky and uncool, and I don't like things on my head (although bandages are cool and chicks dig scars). Besides, someone in the UK conducted a study from a really small sample and concluded that I'll get hit by cars if I wear my helmet (never mind the fact that everybody else who wears a helmet somehow manages to avoid being hit by cars on a regular basis).

Since the days are getting shorter now, I thought I would start looking at the sunrise and sunset times on the Internet as a way of coping with it. Don't anyone dare tell me I should consider getting lights in case the weather turns nasty on a ride or I get held up by a flat tyre or some other mechanical failure. I'll flame you to hell because they are uncool and dorky and I'm way too cool for that crap!

Hello, I'm a total and complete f*ckwit who has spent a lot of time running around various fora flaming and even making online death threats against various posters who disagreed with me. Then I came to this board because it has moderators, but strangely, when I flame people here, they still flame me back. Why? I thought the mods were supposed to stop this. Then I tried reporting one of the posts to a moderator, and they wrote back and told me to behave myself! Can you believe it? I mean, I'm also a donating member (even if my subscription doesn't come close to paying the admin's hosting fee) so I should get priority. This board sucks Goddammit!


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